My Story…

Hi, this is my story or my “testimony” as we Christians like to call it—of how I came to believe in and love Jesus Christ. Thank you for taking the time to read about my salvaged life. I pray that what you read here comes across as honest and transparent, and that somehow, it connects with you.

 

“I Thought I Was a Good Person…”

Before God opened my eyes to my true condition before Him, I was convinced I was a “good guy.” I figured I was heaven-bound for sure. But then I met Jesus—really met Him—at a small church in Inglewood, California. It was June 2004. That day I heard the unfiltered, unedited Truth of the Gospel, and everything changed. I realized I had been deceived. I was a slave to sin, heading straight for Hell… and I didn’t even know it.

I didn’t think I was a sinner. Not really. I wasn’t perfect, but compared to a lot of people? I was doing alright. I helped folks when I could, got along with most people, and tried not to wish harm on anyone. I opened doors for elderly women and gave change to the homeless. I figured God was loving and forgiving, and He would overlook my “small stuff.”

But under the surface, I was drowning. I got to where I drank a lot and smoked weed daily. I was always down to party. Spent a lot of money on drinking, clubbing and partying. Trying to have as much fun as I possibly could. Or at least what I thought “fun” was.

I had some perverted habits…  I loved collecting porn on my computer. Internet porn was the driving force behind me getting into the computer networking field back in the day. The urge to get free porn inspired my desire to learn more about computers and the Internet. I was fascinated by naked women. Even with having girlfriends and being in sexual relationships, I still had a massive stash of porn on my computer and DVDs.  Most guys I knew looked at some kind of pornography on the regular. I thought it was normal.

I lived with girlfriends with little or no intention of marrying them. “Why buy the cow when I could get the milk for free”, right? That was my mindset. And man, I was all about that milk! Woo buddy! It ruled my thoughts, my actions—my whole identity.

If I wasn’t living with a woman and sleeping with her, I was plotting how to hook up with the next one. Lust was my daily meditation. I thought it was just how God wired us men, like we were supposed to think about sex nonstop. I mean, isn’t that what every guy talked about anyway? “Hooking up”,”Tapping that”, “Scoring” like sex was a sport.

Men buy nice cars, fresh clothes, cologne, and flex our bank accounts, not for purpose, but for pleasure. I soaked up that mindset, that made it all seem normal. Sex was everywhere, and I was a fan of many flavors, safe sex, straight sex, freaky sex, strange sex, online sex, multi-player sex.

I didn’t think I had a problem. I thought I was a red-blooded man just doing what men do. But this addiction was poisoning how I saw women, how I saw love. In my head, love and sex were basically the same thing. If I wasn’t getting sex when I wanted, how I wanted—I felt unloved. And if I wasn’t “making love” on the regular, I’d go looking for my “milk” somewhere.

I believed that lie we men often buy into, that we can totally separate love from sex. That it’s just a physical act. No strings. No meaning. Just pleasure. But I had no idea what real love even looked like. My version of love was completely self-centered. If I was the focus, if I was satisfied, then I felt loved. If not? Deuces! I’m out!

After my last relationship, I stopped pretending. I started chasing “fast love.” I was looking for sex with no ties, no responsibilities, no heart involved. Just the act. Just to numb the ache in my soul until “Miss Right” magically showed up. I even turned to Craigslist. I’d post stuff in the Personals section like, “F–k buddy wanted.” Thought I was slick. Thought I was some kind of sexual dynamo. In my mind, I was a “good guy,” a “righteous dude.” Yeah, I was that deceived.

 

But here’s the part that still haunts me… In one of my early relationships, when I was just a young man, I committed murder. I didn’t pull a trigger or stab anybody or anything like that. But I was fully complicit. I got my girlfriend pregnant, and we both agreed—we were too young, too unprepared. “We’ll have kids later… when we’re married,” we said. So we went to the big city, to a clinic, and she had an abortion. I paid for it. She was broken for a while. I, on the other hand, felt like I had dodged a bullet, like I just stepped out of the way of a speeding train.

But looking back now? We ended a life. I now know abortion is murder.

I could have a son or daughter in their 30s right now. A child, a piece of me I could love, laugh with, and walk through life with. But we took that life out of selfishness. And the young lady and I didn’t even end up together. We didn’t build a family like we planned. We just erased one. And that decision still echoes through my heart.

I was also a digital thief. I pirated music, movies, software—you name it. I even taught others how to do it. I justified it by saying, “Everyone does it.” But deep down, I knew it was stealing. I just didn’t care enough to stop. In fact, I didn’t care about a lot of things anymore. My morality was slipping away, and I didn’t even notice.

I was living the hip-hop lifestyle. Partying hard. Chasing women. Spending $$$ on drinks. I prided myself on being the life of the party, but honestly? I was lonely. I had tons of friends, but no deep relationships. My family was distant. My sister, a faithful Christian, had cut me off. I wasn’t invited to her wedding. That hurt, but pride told me to just move on.

All of this left me numb, restless, and lonely. Deeply broken inside.

Meeting Jesus

Then I became acquainted with a co-worker. A beautiful woman with an unexplainable “glow” about her. I knew she was Christian before we formally met by the way she spoke and carried herself. A true believer in Christ through and through, a ‘good girl’, but that didn’t bother me… Although I was attracted to her, I knew I couldn’t come at her like I had with women in the past. Nor did I want to. She wasn’t like any woman I knew before. When I was around her, I felt a wholesome goodness. I was painfully open and honest with her, as I felt I had to be. I didn’t feel like I had to be fake to impress her. We became fast friends.  

Eventually, she invited me to church. I went, half-expecting judgment or lightning to strike me dead. But it was the opposite. People were warm, kind, and real. And the pastor? He preached like he knew me and knew my life. I was floored.

I kept going back. Every message hit home like a spiritual sledgehammer. I started to realize the Bible wasn’t just some outdated book. It was living, personal, and painfully relevant. For the first time, I understood: my sin separated me from God. No amount of “being a good guy” could bridge that gap. Jesus did what I couldn’t. He took my place, when He died on that cross. He died for me. And through His resurrection, He offered me a new life.

One Sunday, the pastor gave an altar call. My heart pounded. Everything in me screamed to stay seated. But a louder voice inside said, “Mike! Come to me, everything will be alright.” So I did.

I went to the front, dropped to my knees, and cried out to Jesus. I asked Him to forgive me and to take over. I was scared. I was broken. And I was saved. He accepted me as I was. No clean up required. Just total forgiveness!

Transformed

When I got home, I looked in the mirror and saw someone I didn’t recognize. I threw out my porn stash, my weed, and my liquor. Things that once ruled me suddenly lost their power. I had no desire to go back.

I dove into God’s Word. Sunday services, Bible studies, personal scripture reading. The more I learned, the more I was amazed. Jesus didn’t just forgive me—He loved me. He gave me purpose. He healed my relationship with my sister. He restored what I thought was lost forever. 

Even when my mom passed away in 2006, I felt peace. She had accepted Christ, too, so she was with Jesus. And because of that, I knew I’d see her again.

Eventually, God blessed me with a wife. A woman who had her own journey to faith, in part because I shared Jesus with her. We’re celebrating 18 years of marriage!

Now I serve as a minister and deacon at Restoration Family Worship Center in Inglewood, CA.

I still fall short. I’m not perfect. But I walk in God’s forgiveness and grace now. I’m no longer a slave to sin. No longer an enemy of God, but a loved and blessed child of God.

Jesus gave me hope when I had none. He gave me new life. Eternal life.

And He can do the same for you.

Thank you for reading my story. If God could save someone like me, He can save anyone. I don’t just believe in Jesus—I love Him. Because He first loved me. And that changed everything.

 

 

THE GOSPEL

WHY JESUS